Family Stories of Jason Washington

 

FAMILY STORIES OF JASON WASHINGTON (1973-2018)

Collected in support of the Jason Washington memorialization project at Portland State University, 2024. To learn more, please see: https://www.pdx.edu/president/jason-erik-washington-art-memorial

Michelle Washington 

I was 15 when I met Jason. He had moved from the Bay Area to Portland to be up here with his older brother because his mom had passed away. His dad and him moved here to be closer to his brother, who was attending PSU.

The first time I saw him we were in the lunchroom. He was tall and had tall hair, because that was popular back then. I looked over and I saw him. I said: “Huh! Who is that?”  And my friends told me, “I think that's the new boy.”  And I thought: I'm gonna marry him. I was a sophomore in high school, and he was a junior. I found out later that he was asking around about me. Asking people: “Hey, do you know that girl?”

So he asked me out a few times, but my parents were pretty strict, so I wasn't able to go on dates or anything like that. We just hung out as friends for probably the first year-ish.

We would do things together and hang out a lot. But I know the date: September 21, 1990.  It was at a football game. I was a cheerleader. He was on the football team. And after the game we went to the park with some friends.  We just talked all night.  Then my brother gave him a ride home.  It’s really weird because I don’t remember my brother being at the park.  But I remember giving him a ride home.  When we got to his house, he asked me if he could have a kiss.  So we had our first kiss. After that, we were inseparable.

My family did not care for our relationship. It was my junior year when we actually started seeing each other. And not too long after that, my family really tried to separate us.  In the second quarter of the school year, they transferred me to Wilson High School.  They moved me in with my aunt and made me go to a different school because we attended Franklin. But Jason and I still continued to see each other whenever we could.

Obviously, it wasn't as easy. I think he could drive but I could not. One time Jason came up to Wilson and the Security Guard stopped him. The Guard told him he couldn't come in, and then Jason just made friends with the Security Guard! So, he let Jason in! We were able to hang out together. The Security Guard at Wilson was really friendly and so I became friends with him, too.  He knew our story and he helped us out a little.

The next summer is when my family kicked me out. I had nowhere to go.  I lived with a friend for about a month. Jason had gone back to California to visit his family and friends. When he came back to Portland, I moved in with him and his dad. His father let me move in.

I was able to return to Franklin High School.  I still had a year of school left; Jason had graduated. That winter, I got pregnant with Kayla, while I was still going to school.  Let me tell you: it was hard to get up in the morning!  You know what it's like when you're pregnant, right?

Jason literally would get me out of bed every day and make me go to school. Without him, I would have probably flunked. I probably would have dropped out of school if it wasn't for him! But he made me go to school every day. As soon as we found out we were pregnant, Jason’s first words were: “I gotta get a better job.” Then he said, “We need to get you some healthier food.” We were living on Top Ramen! That day, he went to the store and got me a whole bunch of soup. There was never a question.  It was: we are gonna do this.

Next, Jason joined the military.  Kayla was about a year old; maybe a year and a half. It was June 6^th, 1994. He said he was going to talk to a recruiter. I said: “No.”  I really didn't want him to go into the military.  I was scared of it, you know? But Jason just believed it was going to help us.  “This is our way out.”

So he went back and he signed up. I remember him coming back and me being so mad at him. “I can’t believe you!” I said. I could not believe that he signed up without really discussing it with me.  But I have to say, he was right again. It was the best decision that he could have made.

Jason went to Boot Camp for three months and I moved in with my dad with Kayla.  When Jason came back, we left for San Diego, in September.  We drove all the way down there. The Navy moved all our stuff.  We found an apartment, but it had no furniture or anything. Luckily the place we found was highly occupied by military personnel.

They were so kind!  The managers of the apartment complex hooked us up with other people. They asked around for extra pots and pans and things like that.  We borrowed things until our own stuff came.  The military shipped our things, but it took over a month.  We didn't even have a TV or anything. We slept on the floor. But the people were so kind. Everything was great in San Diego. We established some really great friends.

When Kayla was about two and a half, I decided I wanted to have another baby. I didn’t want them to be too far apart in age. So we got pregnant and I mean: just like that! We had Lexi in San Diego.

And though we had great friends there, we missed our families. So when Jason’s time was up, we thought of coming back to Portland.  Jason was on shore duty, which means he wasn’t attached to a boat.  He had been a plane captain on a helicopter carrier.  But toward the end of his duty, they put him out on a boat.  They told him that he had to go out on a Westpac, which is 6 months long trip. But he only had 5 weeks left in his enlistment!

Prior to this, Jason did have to leave for training. He would go out on a boat for a few weeks and come home for a week.  They would be just offshore.  The schedule was difficult because we had two kids and I was working full time. When Jason had to leave for five weeks, that was really, really rough.  Jason’s dad ended up moving down to San Diego with us.  He helped me with the kids.  I would go to work and he would watch them. 

When Jason finally got discharged from the Navy, we came back here. Right away he got a job at the Post Office. It helped that he had been in the military. That’s when I got my position too.  One of my friends got me in at her job. I’ve been there ever since.

We had really stable jobs. We had already been working for a long time and that let us buy our first house. Mariah was born a couple of years later, in 2002.  We bought our second house in 2005.  This is the house our kids basically grew up in.  The other kids were older. I think Caleb was in seventh grade when we moved here.

Jason’s dad Vernon loved me from the beginning.  He was a very kind person. He could be strict, but he was very loving.  He would say to Jason: “Make sure you treat her right.”  I never got to meet Jason’s mom, Terri.  She passed three years before I met him, when he was 14 years old.  But Jason told me so much about her.

Jason’s mom had diabetes.  She knew she wasn’t going to live forever. She was quite ill and was blind for five years before she passed.  Terri really prepared Jason for life.  She fit in everything that she could possibly fit in to prep him for the rest of his life.

One of the things that Jason told me was that Terri kept telling him: “You know you are going to meet a woman some day and fall in love. And you are going to have your own family.” And Jason would say: “No, mom. I’m good. I’m only going to love you!”

Vernon grew up in Bakersfield, California.  I think he met Terri in San Jose. I believe she attended San Jose State for college.  Because they were an interracial couple, they had the same challenges that we did later. Jason told me a story that Terri was set up with Vernon on a blind date. Vernon said that when Terri opened the door, she said: “You're the biggest, blackest man I've ever seen in my life!”  He was really tall, 6 foot 3 and a big, big guy.  And they just fell in love.  Vernon just adored Terri.  It reminds me of Jason with me.  Not to brag, but I know that Jason adored me!  Vernon talks so highly of Terri to this day. He just loved her so much.

They were a church going family.  Vernon was a deacon for a little while. They belonged to a very strict Pentecostal church.  Jason grew up in a Pentecostal church.  His mom couldn't wear makeup to church services. The women didn't wear makeup and they couldn't wear pants. They had to wear a skirts.  Jason was stricter with religion than I was. I did not grow up in church.

Jason’s parents went through it.  His mother’s family did some crazy stuff.  Terri’s parents disowned her.  She did not ever see her father again, even on her deathbed.  I would never do that to my kids. And Vernon hoped that his children would never have go through that.  But 30 years later, with Jason and me, I remember him saying, “This is crazy! How is this still happening?!” But Vernon was always just very supportive of us and our family. Jason and my foundation was based on family.  We never wanted our kids to have to go through anything like that.

We took our kids to church when they were young, but we were not super consistent until we got older. Jason tried hard to really find the right church for us.  I remember that he interviewed Sonia Won and her husband of The Groves.  He wanted to make sure that they believed the same things that he believed. He asked all kinds of questions!  I was kind of embarrassed.  But Jason just wanted to make sure that everyone loved God like he did.

After Jason and I were together for 11 years, I re-connected with my grandfather. This was when my great grandma was in the hospital, about to pass away.  I hadn’t seen him since I was 16 and I got kicked out.  Now I’m 27 years old, saying goodbye to my great grandma.  She had been so loving and totally accepting of Jason.  When my grandparents on my mother’s side (who disowned me) came to the hospital, they walked right by me. They had to ask my aunt “Who’s that lady standing out there?” And she said: “That’s Michelle.” 

I had gone to the waiting room at the hospital. My grandfather came down to talk to me. This is a man that I feared. I loved him when I was a child, but because of what we went through, I feared him. He made the rules of the family.  He told people what to do. I feared him all my adult life.  I got my courage up when he came down to talk to me.  I just told him how I felt and my view of things. He respectfully declined to agree with me.  When we saw each other again at the funeral, my grandfather kept staring at me, Jason, and our kids.  We tried to wait for him to leave so that we could leave. We did not want to walk past him, but he wasn’t leaving.  Finally, Jason said: “Let’s go.” We walked past and my grandfather stopped Jason and asked to speak with him.  And I thought, Oh my gosh! What is happening right now?!

They went outside. My grandfather said: “Thank you for taking care of my granddaughter. I can tell that you are a wonderful husband and father.” He just could see that we were happy, and we had our own family.  My Jason accepted that apology.  Then my grandfather invited us to his house for dinner and we went. This was how open Jason was. This is how much he knew that my family meant a lot to me. He was willing to forgive everything that we had gone through and move forward. We ended up establishing a relationship with them and that whole side of my family. This was a little crazy for the girls! Mikhaila was already 11 years old.  She would ask, “Okay, that's aunt who?” “And who is that?” They just didn’t know anyone.

For Jason to put it all in the past was huge for me.  Jason actually became wonderful friends with my aunts and uncles. My grandfather passed away a couple of years later, so we didn't get a lot of time with him. My grandmother loved Jason!  Oh, my gosh! She just fell in love with him. Every once in a while, I thought: “You all missed out on so much.”  If they could have just seen past it all eleven years earlier, we wouldn’t have been in the situation we found ourselves in.

Some of Jason’s friends thought he was crazy.  They asked him: “How are you going to let those people into your lives?” Do you know what Jason always said? “I love my wife, and she loves her family.” Jason did it for me. I used to joke around that my family actually loved him more than me!

I skipped over when we got married. When I was pregnant, my dad and my stepmom really wanted us to get married. We were pregnant! But I told my stepmom: “I'm not going to get married just because I'm pregnant. I will get married because I have found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life.”  I wanted to make sure that it was the right time. So, we waited. Kayla was 11 months old when we got married so she was one of our flower girls.

We got married at Parkside Chapel in Gresham. I had a beautiful dress. We had a nice wedding but most of my family wasn’t there.  My mom came but a lot of people from my mom’s side didn’t.  My dad was always supportive, I will give him that.  He always loved Jason.  We would go to his house, and we had a great relationship with my dad and stepmom. Jason’s dad was also there and his brother. It was a beautiful wedding, right next to a park. Parkside was a funeral home; then it became a wedding chapel.  Since we got married there, it has become a funeral home again.  We had a ton of fun at our reception. Of course we were very young. I was still breastfeeding Kayla! My God! We were just kids. I was only 18 and he was 19. And we were getting married!

We were married for so long. The year that Jason died we were two months short of our anniversary.  On August 20^th would have celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary.

When I think about Jason and the kind of person he was, he was always one that would literally do anything for anybody.  We’ve had a lot of people come live with us when they are down and need a helping hand.  He would say: “Come, live with us. It's fine! You’ll get back on your feet!”

One time it was icy outside.  We went to the store.  There was an older lady with a cane, getting out of her car and trying to walk into the story.  Jason literally ran over and walked her. He put his arm out and walked her into the store. I have a picture of it because I had to put it on Facebook. I posted: This is the man I'm married to!

We live on a hill. That hill gets snowed in completely.  People get stuck in it and cars pile up. We met our neighbors that lived right back here behind us because she was trying to get to her car, and she was huge and pregnant and she was slipping, and Jason saw her. He ran and helped her quick! One time I got stuck in the snow with all three kids. The battery died. I had no chains.  There happened to be a tire place nearby where I could go buy chains.  But I couldn’t put them on. I didn’t know what I was doing!

Luckily there was a guy that lived on that street that had a portable battery charger, so he came out and charged my batteries. Then he got on the ground and put my chains on.  I thanked him for being so kind.  I was thinking of telling Jason the story when I got home.   And what's he doing when I get back to the house? He's pushing people's cars up the hill. And I thought that’s why someone helped me: because Jason helps people.

As I said, family was our foundation.  When Jason was killed, I got a call from the Security Guard at one of the places they were at that night. I think it's called the Rialto. The Security Guard there called me. I have no idea how he got my number.  So, it’s crazy.  But he called because he wanted me to know that while Jason was there at the bar, they had a great conversation. Jason had talked all about his family. The man said that he got a really good sense of what a wonderful person Jason was. Jason couldn't stop talking about his family. He knew that we had just gotten back from Mexico and that it was a great family trip. That we had all the girls there.  That Jason loved his granddaughter and that one of his daughters had just graduated from college. This man wanted me to know that in the end, even on his last day, all Jason could talk about was how much he loved his family.

Kayla Washington

Deena Sajitharan [interviewer]: Okay, well, what is your earliest memory of your father Jason?

Kayla Washington:  I was thinking about that this morning. And there was a moment in Mexico, that we you know, we went to Mexico right before all this happened. So, in Mexico, I was just not getting along my sisters. Okay? To be honest, we fight sometimes. So I wasn't getting along with them.  The whole family had walked ahead and dad had stayed back with me. It was a moment that we got to ourselves. He just looked at me as if to say: “It's okay. It's okay, Kayla. Things like this happen. It'll all work out.” The way he spoke to me just gave me a sense of calmness. And I feel like the universe or God let me have this moment with him because then two days later is when it happened. Right? So, I had this little, tiny moment where he understood me for a second. And I felt: “Yeah, I get it. He's on my side.” Do you understand what I'm saying? I felt like my dad got me. We walked together on to the next spot. I don’t know, but it was like nothing had to be said yet he had said a lot in that moment. Do you know what I mean?  I couldn't even really tell you exactly what he said, it was just the feeling that I had with him.

This morning, I was thinking about these questions and I thought: “Oh my god, don't cry!” That moment in Mexico was really special and it binds me to other moments I've had with him too.  My dad would be up late at night and I would see him. “Oh, hey, dad.” He was like: “Hey, baby…” He was just sitting there thinking about his mom and he would tell me his stories. She died when he was 14; I didn't get to meet her. He would tell me stories about her about how great she was and how she taught him everything like she knew she was gonna pass. She knew she had to teach him and his brother how to be men now. How to clean up and do certain things and take care of people. He just missed her so much. Which is just crazy! Grief obviously never goes away. You know? Maybe we're lucky enough to have certain moments like that.

Deena Sajitharan: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Kayla Washington: Yeah, you love that person so much and you have a lot of pain when you lose them. That’s a good one.

Andre Washington (press conference statement at Portland State University, 8 July 2018)

Good morning. Thank you for being here. My name is Andre Washington and I’m here to speak on behalf of my brother Jason Washington and his family: his wife Michelle, his three daughters, and his 5-year-old granddaughter. On June 29, 2018, Portland State University police deadly shot Jason Washington in the streets of the Portland State University’s campus. Jason was a father, a husband, a brother, a friend, and in his most recent role he was a papa [grandfather]. Jason Washington could light up a room with his infectious smile and bring calm and comfort. The community knows Jason Washington. Whether he coached your basketball team, attended your church, delivered your mail, or walked along side you on a five-mile community walk. [inaudible sentence]  Jason Washington was a charismatic, energetic man who adored and loved his family and community. Jason Washington’s death will not go unnoticed or untended.

Today we are standing here before you to demand that the officers Dewey and McKenzie be removed, put on administrative leave, and fired from Portland state University’s police department. We are demanding that Portland State University disarm its officers immediately and retrain all officers to deal with conflict without the use of weapons. We are demanding that the City of Portland, the district attorney’s office, the Portland Police Bureau, and Portland State University come forward and be transparent, diligent, and forthright in the investigation of the tragedy that took the life Jason Washington.

What this community experienced on the morning of June 29^th 2018 is not uncommon in this city and around the country.  Black men being gunned down by white police officers is an affliction in America. When these officers approached Jason Washington in this situation, they did not follow protocol and panicked. These two officers fatally shot Jason Washington, the one and only person who was trying to keep the peace. Split-second decisions made by poorly trained, inadequate, and over-zealous campus police caused our family and our community to lose a wonderful human being. Jason Washington’s love for God and his family was unmeasurable. Jason Washington was a veteran who supported this country.  Jason Washington supported the military.  Jason Washington supported the second amendment. Jason Washington supported social issues.  And perhaps most ironic of all, Jason Washington supported the police. Think about that. Jason washing supported the police and the justice system.  The systemic oppression must stop in order for us to move forward and make change. Today is about justice for Jashon Washington. Justice. I must reiterate that we are demanding policy change that Portland State University disarm its police officers immediately and be retrained. We are demanding that Portland Police, Portland State University and the district attorney’s office be transparent, diligent and forthright. Thank you for coming today and may justice be served for Jason Washington.  There will be a march tonight at 8 pm In honor of Jason Washington between 6^th and Broadway. 

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